Trouble With The Curve, End Of Watch, Looper, Pitch Perfect Film Reviews

First time in a long time that I went to the movies 4 times in 7 days and really the first time in a long time that Ive gone to the movies 4 times in a month. I use to go 5-7 times a month but now I either never have time or I just don't care to watch whats out. Not to mention that going to a movie costs me $100+ bc it turns into a date with my @ScumbagGf bc "We never do anything together anymore blah blah blah" but as you all know that's a lie. She says I need to be more cultured bc she doesn't want her kids have a brute of a dad... dafuq? Ill tell you guys right now, being "cultured" is boring, expensive, and it doesn't taste very good. She doesn't understand how I prefer Pollo Loco's or Pop Eye's mac & cheese to Gordon Ramsey's mac & cheese.

In last weeks case I wanted to see 3/4 films and I told my niece I'd take her out too plus I had some down time and found myself around the movies all week. I even had time to rent another.

TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE

I like Clint Eastwood movies, I like baseball movies, and I think Amy Adams is hot. My girlfriend likes Amy Adams movies and so this was a win win. We originally set out to see End of Watch but it was sold out and I guess it was a good thing too. I didnt really want to see it opening night with the crowd that movie would attract...Mexicans. TWTC was more than half empty and had a bunch of old white folk there so not a single person spoke, yelled at the screen, shouted out stupid comments, brought half a dozen kids, or was using an electronic device (besides a hearing aid) the whole movie.

The movie is about an elite baseball scout (Clint) that is getting old and so he is losing his vision. The Atlanta Braves are his organization and since his contract is up in 3 months they dont know if theyll renew. Amy Adams plays is sexy, lawyer, baseball talkn daughter who feels abandoned bc he was and is always on the road so they end up on a scouting trip together to not only save Clint's career but their relationship.

I really enjoyed the movie and I knew I would bc I like Clint, baseball, and Amy Adams...even if Justin Timberlake was in the movie and well JT can only ever play himself in movies and thats ok since he's not an actor. The story was good, grumpy Clint Eastwood was good, think Gran Torino minus all the racist jokes. The only thing that bothered me about this movie was the camera work. The camera was in and out of focus a lot.

Another thing Ive noticed in just about all of Mal Paso's work (Clints production company) is that outside of the main characters they use local talent in the movie. I think thats a cool idea but sometimes its not as you can tell which actors are clearly the locals who have never been in front of the camera.

At the end of the day I recommend you see this bc it is a good movie but if youre not a fan of the three (baseball, Eastwood, Adams) like I was wait for the blu ray.

END OF WATCH

End of Watch comes to us from the same people who brought us Training Day. Have you seen South LAnd? Well its a longer episode of that and its a lot more graphic. Its actually a lot like Training Day only the plot isnt as involved.

The movie is about two cops who patrol a shitty part of LA and stumble upon a series of busts that are Mexican Mafia related. The mafia wants them killed and so people try to kill them. No twist no turns just a straight forward cop drama.

Its not as violent as Training Day but it is just as graphic. The movie is also shot in a stupid way. It was one of the things that bugged me. In the plot Gyllenhaal is taking a film course and so he is documenting his day to day activities. He puts a camera on himself and one on his partner. Both cams are on their chests. He also carries a third camera in his hand. So the movies cuts between these three cameras but when the filmmakers have too, for logistical purposes, they cut to a 3rd person camera which is held by the audience. I think this was stupid bc its breaks the flow of the film. Either make it like a documentary or shoot it like a narrative with the first person inserts. Not the other way around.

Second thing I didnt like was the scene at the end. It was thrown in there just for the hell of it. Im NOT talking about the ending. The ending was great. Im talking about the very very last scene before the credits.

Overall I really enjoyed this film, the dialogue, the plot, and the action was well done. The characters were funny and fun to be with. You also grow attached to these characters in 90 mins. The movie was intense and like I said pretty graphic. Some people in the theatre were crying. A film like this actually makes you appreciate cops a bit more. They get put in real fucked up situations a lot. This wasnt about a moral cop vs corrupt cop like Training Day this was about two cops who are out every day trying to do the right thing while risking their lives.

If you're local to Los Angeles like I am you'll also recognize a lot of the areas they shot in, hell you might even see your cousin Chuey in the background homes. The bad guys all looked like the crowd @Miss_DanielaM rolls with ese.

It was great. Go see this in theatres.

LOOPER

Ok get off of Batman and Robert Downey Jr's nuts for a second and listen to me when I say, "Looper is the best movie of the year."

Director Joe Carnahan saw my tweet and disagreed.

Its one of the reasons I love twitter. You get to interact with just about anyone. And The Grey was great. See it!

Looper takes place in 2044 and 30 years from then in 2074 time travel has been invented but is immediately outlawed. In the future corporations and mobsters find someone they want killed, send them back in time, and a looper kills them. The reason for that is bc in the future everyone has trackers on them so its impossible to dispose of a body. If you send back a body to a time where it or the trackers dont exist youre in the clear. Now every looper knows that one day they will be sent back in time so their younger self can kill them and end the loop. This way there is never any trace of them being involved with the mobs.

Well as you probably guessed Levitt's future self, Bruce Willis, gets away and we have a film. The reason I think this is the best film of the year is bc it had everything I could ask for in a movie. I didnt have any complaints. My favorite part was how it was shot. It was seamless. You were in the film. You never noticed the camera controlling your point of view. The editing was there and bc it was futuristic it was even better bc it wasnt all stupid and flashy. The movie wasnt stupid and flashy bc it was futristic and that made it great. It had the grimy futuristic look of Robocop while still implementing technology so it felt like the movie "In Time". For some reason the future is always destroyed.

There was futuristic elements to it bc its in 2044 but they werent over the top. It also didnt rely on CGI or huge action sequences. Did it have both? Yes. Were they all the movie had to offer? No.

The make up and I assume CGI that were placed on Levitt's face looked great. You can see him there bc you know what he actually looks likes but if you didnt you wouldnt know it was him. Thats how good the combo of make up, prosthetics, and CGI were on his face. The story line was really good and Im sure there are already conspirators, English teachers, and movie jerks trying to get all Inception with it and look for plot holes, inconsistencies, and other crap but w/e it was what it was and this and DREDD 3D were the only two films Ive seen all year where I was like, "This should be a tv show. I want to see this shit weekly damn it!"

And there was also a kid in the movie...I hate kid actors and its bc they suck and over exaggerate everything and are just awful. This kid was fucking awesome. He was smart and funny and just on point. This kid was probably an adult midget. And really thats how the whole movie was. It was smart, funny, and on point.

Go see this in theatres. 

PITCH PERFECT

My niece wanted to go see this film and so did my girlfriend and so off we were to the movies for the 4th time in a week.

I really really didnt want to watch this. Im not one for musicals or plays or people who are into plays and musicals. They just all come off as pretentious assholes. We get into the theatre and all I see are girls (not women), fat guys being friendzoned, and fat gay guys. I suddenly felt like I was being friendzoned. My girlfriend told me that Anna Kendrick was in it and so I was like, "Ok fiiiiine. Ill go see it.". I like Anna Kendrick. She's hot in that geeky girl next door kind of way and my gf doesnt get it. Then I realized that half the cast of this movie was half the cast of "What to expect when youre expecting" which we saw on rental earlier in the week and that Anna Kendrick was also in "End Of Watch". So I had seen three of her films in 7 days. Weird.

The movie is about Kendrick going to college but she's all like "No bro I want to rebel and be a music producer and move to LA bc college aint gonna get me nowhere!" bc thats all people seem to think these days when studios and labels wont even consider you as an intern if you arnt in college or have a college degree. Stay in school kids.

Bc she's antisocial her dad says to join a group or club and if she gives it a try he'll pay for her to move to LA, where she'll fail, become a barista or waiter, never have money, live in a tiny over priced Hollywood apartment with 3 dirty pothead roommates in the same situation, update her facebook/twitter with "in the studio!", and just cause more traffic before resorting to prostitution.

So she joins an a cappella group. The movie got me by surprise. Its really funny. Its funnier if you get the inside jokes. I didnt do glee club or play production but everyone in the audience did and so they laughed even more than I did. Its not a musical but there are a handful of performances in the film since they do competitions. The story was ok and you dont care too much for any of the characters but the dialogue and the situations were funny. Its a cute movie. Its PG-13 so the comedy isnt raunchy or explicit. 

If you like these types of films or did glee club or are a fan of that show go see this in theatres. If youre not, its still a fun movie. Catch it on blu-ray

Thats it for now.

-Albert


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Vin Scully Should Retire

VIN SCULLY SHOULD RETIRE

A couple of days ago I saw that the internet went crazy over a similar story. It was a story I tried to read but the writer, being the bitch ass scumbag that he was, took heat from the public and took down the article. The author knew he'd get shit for it, he knew it would cause a stir and thats exactly what he wanted. He wanted to cause trouble and so he posted it up but took it down after enraging Dodgers fans across the world...well I'll tell you right now, Dodgers fan or not, read my article before you start running your ignorant mouth.

When I first saw the headline I reacted the same way all of you did. I was like, "Fuck this fucken guy homes he's probably just some Giants fan aye. He doesnt know nothing.". Then I thought about all those great moments Vin called and in a way I relived a lot of great moments in my life, specifically my childhood. I thought it was an amazing thing to have Vin in my life. In a way, Vin is like everyone's uncle who tells all sorts of cool, crazy, interesting stories. Vin has always been there, not just for my generation but my parents and grandparents too and thats why I feel Vin should retire.

I sat at my desk, looked at my bobble heads, family pictures, and some autographed Dodgers memorabilia and smiled. You can even say I got a little emotional. I knew that I got those bobble heads while out with friends and family. I got those signatures waiting in long ass lines with my @ScumbagGF as well as several of you reading this article and I realized that weve all taken so much. Vin has given all so much and its made us all selfish. We know for a fact that we have the best commentator or any kind in the history of the world and we wont let him go.

Weve all shared these moments with friends and family and Vin has sacrificed his in order to bring these moments to us. He is a husband, father, and grandfather and with all that he still shows up day in and day out to put a smile on our faces whenever we hear it: "Hi, everybody, and a very pleasant good (afternoon/evening) to you, wherever you may be."

Thats the voice of baseball. Its the voice of summer. Its the voice of the Dodgers.

In recent years weve seen Vin transition from MLB to NL West to only California games. He's essentially had the traveling life of a ball player the last 60yrs. Vin, like Tommy Lasorda, has given his life to this organization and he continues to give it to us, the fans. Some of you may not know that Vin was the original Ryan Seacrest. Vin was a commentator and host for every sport and social event and not just Dodgers baseball. Its his age and bullshit corporate contracts that have made him Dodgers exclusive. How many of you would kill to hear him on FOX for the All Star Game and World Series? How about just the playoffs? Did you know he was a tv host for several years? He even had his own show! And when we know he is done I will do all I can to campaign for him to announce the All Star Game and the playoffs and the World Series.

There will always be commentators who know about the team, the game, its history, and over time some may be able to bring us stories like Vin did. In 50 years you'll be hanging out with your grandchildren watching a game and the announcer will be comparing our lefty not to Koufax or Valenzuela but to Kershaw. He'll speak of the 20xx Dodgers and not those of the 1950's and new generations will have something but what I feel set Vin a part was how humble he's always been.

Unlike the commentators of today that are talking about everything but the game or trying to manage it, Vin speaks only of the game at hand and breaks the action to tell us stories directly related to the individuals who are involved.

Vin recently said that he will be returning to the press box next year and that he would continue to do so as long as his wife let him and he could be of service.

Ive always felt that next year would be his last and now that we know the Yankees are scheduled and he wants to make that trip, I really believe it will be. He might already know it too but he wont ever say it out loud. Vin is not the selfish type. He is not one for attention and thats what makes him the best there ever was and the best there ever will be. He's never wanted to take away from the game or its players and if he announced his retirement too soon he knows we will all shift our attention to him and not the team. He is a class act.

This is why I feel we should stop taking from Vin and let him say goodnight one last time. Let him share his stories for the rest of his life with his family. Let him circle up his grandchildren and tell them about his life, about his career, and all of his stories whether or not they were around a mic.

It will be a sad day when Vin does leave but at the same time Ill be very happy for him. He will be able to be with his family and he will know what he meant to generations of fans. He's become bigger than the team. He wont ever admit that but we know he is.

"As long as you live, keep smiling because it brightens everybody's day." - Vin Scully

God bless you Vin Scully.

-Albert

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The Dark Knight Rises Film Review

THE DARK KNIGHT RISES FILM REVIEW

The Dark Knight Rises is the 3rd and final installment to Christopher Nolan's adaptation of Batman. Its the last movie of a great trilogy. Ill go out and say it : BEST TRILOGY EVER.

1. Batman
2. Back to the Future
3. LOTR
4. Indiana Jones
5. The Matrix
6. Star Wars

I dont care how many Star Wars "fans" there are out there. I dont care how many LOTR fans there are out there and really Nolan's films are almost always the best film released that year and he gets snubbed every time. Christopher Nolan redefined the super hero genre with his version of Batman.

He turned the comic super hero genre into a realistic, gritty, drama. Its not some bullshit colorful, campy, cooky ass Tim Burton piece of trash. He also made the PG-13 category tolerable again. It was Indiana-esque. I not once felt that I needed to see a Rated-R version to any of the Batmans. Christopher Nolan was amazing.

Im a big Nolan fan and the work he did in between Batman films was great too. You see some of them in the way he edits DKR. Its cut very much like Inception and half of that cast is in DKR.

Everyone is back playing their usual roles and Tom Hardy packs on 40lbs of muscle to play Bane. The story line to DKR is set 8yrs after The Dark Knight and Gotham is a whole new town. The Batman is retired, Harvey Dent is a fallen hero whom Batman "murdered" and Bruce Wayne has disappeared from the public eye.

Remember that 5min opening sequence at the head of Mission Impossible last year? Well thats the opening sequence to this film. The scene where Bane and his men take out that plane with their own.

Now this Bane is different from the 1997 version. This Bane isnt some dumb ass on venom with tubes sticking out of his head. He also isnt the comic book Bane. He isnt a lab experiment from a South American prison. He is a buff genius mercenary who is a 99%er. Thats one of the themes of the movie. How the people need to take back their city from the rich and the government and Bane will be their leader.

I'll leave you with only that theme bc any other theme will give away the film. There was so much foreshadowing in this film it was nuts. This film held your hand. Ive also been seeing this Meme all over the net.

Not that you could if you wanted to and its not like I ever do spoilers.

The CG and the action was top notch. The fight scenes look very good and the hand to hand fights between Bane and Batman were very brutal. They weren't wacky Kung Fu martial arts fights they were MMA style. They were more about blunt brute force than technique. Bane was just huge.

Anne Hathaway brings back Catwoman though no one ever calls her that. You just see a reference to that name in a news paper clipping. This role was the one I feared. I thought it was going to be stupid and campy and REALLY cliche but it wasnt. I mean her character was the witty one and randomly wore heels in a leather outfit but they made it work. Outside the fact that her mask just covered her eyes and everyone can tell who she is I was ok with the role. It wasnt stupid and lame. She also gives off a lesbian vibe.

This film felt the most real of them all. It was the most dramatic as the characters and their situations were more dramatic. Batman almost felt human. He and the characters in this film cared about more than just themselves or their objective. This film shows how the characters cared about each other. It also showed how selfish the characters could be or how they were in the previous films.

Three things bothered me in this film.
1. One character dies and OMG the acting as this character dies is the worse piece of acting Ive seen since I did my first short film freshman year of high school. The whole theatre laughed. It was terrible. Its like who the fuck saw that take and said, "Boom! Thats the one. Use that take."???

2. Bane's voice!!! I didnt understand about 1/3 of what he said. The voice also ALWAYS looked off. Clearly you cant see his mouth move but the words didnt come out of his mouth. They didnt match the movement of his head or his neck or jaw. Whenever a character spoke the sound came form the character. When Bane spoke suddenly the voice hits you in 5.1. And whats up with his accent?

3. This is my complain in just about every Nolan film. I cant hear a lot of the dialogue bc as shit starts to happen and dialogue is going on he ques Hans and the music is so goddamn loud it drowns everything else out. Usually you find that the SFX and explosions are loud and blaring but not in a Nolan movie. Thats Hans Zimmer's thing.

Now when it comes to comparing the Joker to Bane I will say that the Joker was a better villian (IMO) bc he gave zero fucks about anything and like Alfred put it, "Some men just want to see the world burn.". He acted with out purpose. Bane had a purpose. He had an agenda. He wanted to cause chaos not for the sake of chaos but for the sake of change. Both films had different themes and moods. They felt different. DKR was not as dark as The Dark Knight but like I said it was more human. You connected more with the characters and with Bruce Wayne than you did Batman.

There were a few throw away characters in this film but w/e. It was a 2:50min film and it didnt seem like it. The film moved at a great pace. I never thought it was slow.

You get to see his new toys. Fox called it "The Bat" but really his helicopter flying thing looked more like a beetle than a bat.

Joseph Gordon Levitt was a good role too. I saw him at my gym just after this film wrapped and he looked HUGE. You would have guessed that he was coming in to do pick up shots as Bane. I wonder what he was bulking for. It wasnt DKR maybe that movie of his on a bike? He plays an up and coming cop who still believes in the Batman.

Anything else? I dont know. I cant think of anything else worth saying w/o giving away story line. There is no scene after the credits but out of respect for the people who worked on the film you should sit there and watch them.

Go watch this. It was a  great film and its kinda sad to see the series end. Im sure that in 15yrs (maybe 10) when WB decides to reboot this again it will probably suck. Nolan set the bar for this genre and I hope other films *cough* Zack Snyders Superman *cough* live up to it.

There are a few questions I had when I left and some Id like to ask Nolan but Ill let you guys watch it and then we'll talk online next week.

Question for you guys. How much money does this film make? Does it beat out Avengers?

Have fun.

I guess thats all for now.

-Albert

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Dodgers Summer Long Giveaways

DODGERS SUMMER LONG GIVEAWAYS

Hey Dodgers people! Hows your summer going? Yeah mine's shitty too. We blew a 7.5 game lead in 25 days and Capuano got snubbed from the All Star game while half our starting line up is on the DL. BUT things are turning around! We were out of first for a few days. Now were 1.5 games up, Kershaws foot seems to be getting better, we lost Dee Gordon, Juan Uribe is playing less, Mark Ellis didnt lose his leg and is back, Ethier and Kemp are expected back after the break and we look like we want to buy/trade for a few key items over the next few weeks. All in all I like where we are heading.

Lulz at Carlos Lee for not wanting to come to LA bc he wanted to remain close to his stupid ranch in Houston bc he then goes and gets traded 2 days later to Miami. U mad bro? Fuck him though bc if he didnt want to play here I wouldnt want him here. A lot of players dont and thats bc of money. CA income tax rapes these dudes for millions. FL does not.

Im hoping the Phillies and Mets collapse. The Phillies are already on the run and should have a fire sale after the break. A source told me that they are waiting for the Phillies and or Mets to collapse to grab some of their guys. They said they had the ability to do that now that our ownership has money and the Phillies and Mets seem to be hemorrhaging it. "If not at the break then in the winter time Hamels will be in LA.". That sounds exciting. Im told ownership wants to make trades but we dont have the farm system to do so. As an incentive they want to just take on salaries.

Its true our farm system sucks. I hate Dee Gordon and I really wish we could trade him but he's out at least 6 weeks (Thank God) and so no one will take him...you guys still love him and his "swag" or have you finally realized everything Ive been saying? Yeah he cant do anything but run.

"Hurry the fuck up homes what are you giving away ese. I have a meeting with my parole officer aye. I cant be reading your blog all morning vato." - Dodgers fans

Ok relax Chuey.

Now that Im over 1000 followers Im starting the giveaways again!

Starting today (Friday July 6, 2012) I will be doing a giveaway every Friday night after the game until Friday August 31, 2012. Thats at least NINE (9) giveaways plus whatever I give away while Im in Vegas in late August. Ill be giving away the bobbleheads and IF I have Dodgers shirts Ill give those away too.

Hows that sound?

The Infield set looks cool but is VERY fragile

I had never seen so many hot chicks at a game until I went to HK bh night

I have plenty of Fernando's but I dont know if I have have any Ethier's left. hmmm

You cant get single game tix to this game so Ill have a few of these Bobbleheads

One of my favorites bc it looks a lot like the Bull Dog

The hot item this year is Scully and you cant buy single game tickets. Like Koufax you need to buy at least 10 and Ill have about 10 of these suckers.

The Gibson bh has to be my favorite. It looks like him and the right arm fucken fist pumps!

I cant think of other stuff I might be giving away... Maybe one of my readers wants to cross promote with me.

Does anyone know anyone over at @LosDoyers? Or maybe www.LA-Fitted.com?  They make some pretty cool stuff and what caught my eye was the Hello Kitty Beast Mode womens tank and V neck.

You know she's Mexican bc she has a scrunchie on her wrist in the event that a fight breaks out in the pavilion or parking lot and she needs to tie her hair back real quick.

Then fake Ethier (@AndreEthier_16) came up with a genius idea. Why not have Dodger Hottie @Miss_LizChavez sport these?

I cant argue with his logic. You guys should be following him.

So yeah I think this can be a great summer of giveaways. Now for the rules.

RULES
1. You need to follow me on twitter @Angry_Albert (If I get sponsors you guys will need to follow them)

1a. LIKE me on facebook www.Facebook.com/ImAngryAlbert. Not valid for Twitter contest but LIKE me anyways...you can even subscribe to this blog and LIKE it on the side bar. Tell the masses about it. Spread it like an STD at Mardi Gras. I make random contest for FB bc I know not all of you have a twitter account. Ill be giving away some items as FB exclusives. I have like 10 Scully's so I have to get rid of em right?

2. You have to send out an FF. Send out a million if you want BUT ONE (1) has to be on Fridays. No FF means you cant win. *FF must be sent out PRIOR to the contest question* Let ppl know about my awesome witt, charm, and boyish good looks...oh and the giveaways of course. Its why the guys follow. The ladies are here bc of my god-like physique and chauvinistic remarks that encourage them to make me sandwiches.

3. You get TWO (2) individual tries at the question. So that means you can answer twice and NOT send me a long ass list of possible answers.

4. If no one gets the answer within a 24hr window the contest ends and it then gets stacked onto the next contest making it a bigger pot.

5. ALL TIMES AND DATES WILL BE SET TO MY TIME ZONE (PST) UNLESS OTHERWISE STATED. I know some of you guys that follow me are all over the country or in another. So thats just a heads up.

So have a great summer. Best of luck to you all. Have fun, be safe and most important of all: Dont do anyone I wouldnt do.

-Albert

DREDD (2012) Film Review

DREDD (2012) FILM REVIEW

DREDD is 2012 reboot of the Stallone Judge Dredd movie of 1995. The movie is a total reboot as the two have only two things in common.

1. Dredd is a Judge
2. Shit gets shot up.

Karl Urban (LOTR, DOOM, Bourne Supremacy, Star Trek) plays Dredd. You may not recognize the name and you wont recognize the face since he never takes off his helmet so here is a picture.

Ohhhh thats Karl Urban...ya you recognize him since he is in everything but you just dont know his name.

DREDD (2012) is scheduled to be released in September of 2012. I was invited to a screener last weekend and Im here to tell you whats up.

The movie is about Dredd being all bad ass and then they tell him to evaluate a rookie Judge played by Olivia Thirlby (Juno, No Strings Attached, The Darkest Hour) who looks pretty damn hot in short blonde hair.

There is ZERO back story. There really is no story. In the 1995 version of DREDD there were several characters in the movie. There was a story, a plot, and a few twists when we find out he is a clone and has a twin brother named Rico that wants to drestroy everything! We have Rob Schneider for comic relief and that pretty cool robot thing along with those religious crazy cannibals. DREDD doesnt have any of that and I was ok with it. DREDD is darker, more serious, and isnt political.

DREDD opens with a voice over of Dredd explaining how in the future 800m people live in Mega City which goes from Boston to DC. Everything outside the city walls is a wasteland. Judges are trying to control the chaos inside the walls and we go immediately into a chase scene.

Dredd: "Rookie you are being evaluated. If you lose your weapon you fail. If you get kidnapped you fail. If you die you fail."

Rookie: "Ok"

Then The Raid: Redemption starts...

Remember a few months ago how I told you to go see this bad ass martial arts movie where this cop has to make it to the top floor of an apartment complex to take out a drug lord crime person while everyone in the building is told to kill em? DREDD is the saaaaaaame thing. Only difference is DREDD takes place in the future, has to go up 200 stories instead of 30, and its all about the guns not hand to hand combat.

This DREDD movie is all action all the time. This thing is straight out Rated R and I loved it. I loved every fucken bullet of it. This is an awesome action film. The 3D made it better as it wasnt the cheesy kind that throws shit at the audience. There was a lot of depth. The drug in the film also helped the 3D and the action scenes. The drug these people take makes everything go really slow so the "slow-mo" scenes of people getting fucked up were great. The kills were very graphic.

Im really happy that the producers of this film decided to make a Rated R action film and not some bitch ass PG-13 one. PG-13 says "This movie wont be as good as it could have been.".

The drug lord is played by Lena Headey (300, Sarah Connor) and she is pretty brutal. Very violent and hands on.

The CG, the action, and the 3D were all really good in this film. We need to see more films like this. We need to see more Rated R films. The whole idea of a PG-13 film is smart in terms of money bc it gives the producers a wider audience to rape but the quality of the film suffers so much.

Overall Id recommend you see this in September BUT keep in mind that what I reviewed was a SCREENER and the film can change in the next 2 months. Remember my review of Sucker Punch? Then my film retraction of it? That movie got fucked over.

I guess thats all for now.

-Albert

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Prometheus Film Review

PROMETHEUS FILM REVIEW

Prometheus was the 4th movie on my list of films to see this summer. That puts me at the halfway mark. I was excited to see this film bc I liked Alien and I really like Ridley Scott. Scott is one of my favorite directors having directed some of my favorite films (Gladiator, Blade Runner, Black Haw Down).

Now with all the hype surrounding this film I was anxious to see this "prequal". We were going to see how it all started. Why that ship was floating through space and where these aliens came from. If youve see the Alien and AVP movies we get the story that aliens are creatures that are made.

You could have also seen all the viral stuff to give a backstory to this backstory.

http://www.weylandindustries.com/timeline

80 years from now in 2093 the Prometheus ship lands in a far off galaxy where we think our creators came from. Have you ever seen Ancient Aliens on History Channel? Well its a lot like that. Then shit goes to hell when everyone realizes aliens arnt friendly.

The only thing that makes this movie a prequal is that it takes place before Alien. Thats it. This film along w all of the AVP movies all take place before Alien and exist in the same universe and thats about it. Theres no straight lead in to the Alien series.

This also isnt the kind of film you go watch for 2 hours and turn off your brain. You have to pay attention to the little things in the geography and structures the crew comes across. This will be one of those movies every asshole has a theory on like Inception or any book your English teacher ever read.

The movie looked great. The visual effects were used as little as possible and there was a lot of practical and animatronic type of effects. Its always cool to see that these days...well assuming its done right. Ridley Scott did a fine job with all of it except in one scene where a head blows ups and one rips off. Those two 1/2 sec shots look really really fake. Its very hard to create CG or practical effects with organic organisms specifically humans.

What sucked was the story. I saw this film and left thinking, "Ok WTF was that? What now? What about this? What about that? This answered nothing!". Everyone I saw it with felt the same way.

Why was Charlize Theron in this movie? She didnt do anything. She was a throw away character. The aging make up looked shitty too. Another thing that pissed me off was that stupid shit writers/directors do when a foreign language is involved and they run out of story. Android David can read/speak the alien language and when ever he does its never translated so you have no clue what the fuck happened or why. Must be a fucked up language bc anytime it came up someone died.

Idk...the movie looked great but it sucked. Think the theatrical release of Sucker Punch. Im sure the directors cut will be better (Sucker Punch's was) as Scott said it will be 20mins longer and have 30 deleted scenes. He also said that the story was full of holes on purpose bc he wanted Prometheus to stand on its own BUT could have a sequel so some questions could be answered...ok?

I usually feel like older directors are going the way of Lucas and just making films for the money. Just chillin standing in their mansions nailing hookers doin blow when they get hit with a great idea.

*gets off hooker*
"Oh.My.GAWD! If I can convince a studio to give me millions ($130M for Prometheus) I can make a film that already has a following and then make HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS!"
"That sounds so great! Like Oh Em Gee!"
*Slaps hooker*
"Shut up bitch! Im not talking to you. Now get your shit and get out."

Wait for the blu ray on this one.

Also DONT wait for the credits to roll. No scene at the end.

-Albert

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MIB 3 and Snow White & the Huntsman Film Reviews and Movie Theatre Etiquette

MIB 3 AND SNOW WHITE & THE HUNTSMAN FILM REVIEWS AND MOVIE THEATRE ETIQUETTE

MIB 3

As a kid I made my parents take me to see MIB about 5 times. It was an awesome movie and I was a big Will Smith fan. I still am. I feel Will Smith is a great lead actor than can carry a film or franchise. He is very versatile too. Though he is a rapper who started off with comedy Michael Bay made him an action star and he then went on to do serious roles later in his career.

Part 2 sucked. Its a given. Most Part 2's suck. Back to the Future II was the best one though. Now MIB III was going to be the second movie this summer that I really wanted to see. There's like 7. From Avengers to Batman and a bunch in between. So after I saw Avengers and liked it I was hoping MIB III would be just as good seeing that its now the most expensive movie in the series at over $225M. I was wondering where the money would go.

Well the movie is about an alien that escapes from space prison and travels back in time to kill K. He does so Will Smith has to travel back in time to prevent the death of his future partner.

First thing you'll notice is that Smith looks old. This prince aint so fresh anymore. But you know its what happens. We get old. Tommy Lee Jones looked the same. He's always looked old. I then tried to notice where all that money went. You can say ya CG and what not but there wasnt anymore CG in this movie than there was in part 2. The actions scenes were not all Michael Bay-esque either. So where did the money go? 3D takes up a huge chunk of it all so it might have been there but I cant justify $200M+ on this film. Keep in mind that was the movies PRODUCTION budget. That doesnt include the millions they spend whoring it out.

It was a good movie. I liked it. It wasnt as good as part 1 though. Smith is his usual funny/silly self while Jones is manly and stoic but whats cool is that you get to see a side of K youve never seen. You get to see that K once had a personality in the past. Its a great film in the sense that it brings every character full circle. You get to see everyones origins.

Its a good family film. Its fun. Id take the kids or nephew/nieces to go see it. The kids will enjoy it. Maybe thats why I enjoyed it so much as a kid but not as an adult.

And you cant forget the soundtrack!

So go take the kids to this. Let them have a childhood.


SNOW WHITE & THE HUNTSMAN

After I saw the trailer last year I was hooked. I needed to see this movie. It looked great. The VFX looked awesome. And after seeing the trailer I had seen the movie...yep its one of those.

Only reason they casted Kristen Stewart was to get an audience of twilight fans to see this movie. This girl is not a good actor and her English accent is worse than mine. Everyone else in the movie naturally has an accent so it wasnt to much of a stretch for them to tweak it slightly.

We all know the story.

The VFX were great. Its why I saw the movie and it didnt disappoint in that aspect.  The action was lame. It wasnt good at all. Only good that came from the few action scenes were the VFX. I really liked Charlize Theron. Her acting and make up, both practical and VFX, was top notch. The sets as well as the costumes were cool and as for Thor...well he was a bitch in this movie. His opening scene was him getting his ass kicked but bc he is such a large guy the other actor was about an inch taller. He really didnt do much even though he played the hero.

The movie was also slow as hell. The first 15-20mins moved at a fast pace as to set up the story but after that it just dragged its feet. The 7 dwarfs are in it. They were full grown men who were shrunk down to be dwarfs. That was a cool look. The best part is really just the VFX when people and animals morphed from one thing to another or to several things bc even the fight scenes sucked.

This isnt a a movie for kids so please dont brings kids to it and ruin the good time of the adults.

So Ill say dont see this in theatres. Wait for the blu ray.


Movie Threatre Etiquette

Its no secret that I hate people. One main reason is bc you guys all act like pigs with no manners and have no consideration for others. This ALWAYS happens at the movies. Always.

Black People: Its a given. Just stop talking. The people in the actual movie cant hear you.

White People: This isnt your house. Stop taking off your fucken shoes bc your feet smell. Stop wearing sandals too bc your feet are all dirty and smelly and stop placing your feet on my fucken chair.

Asian People: Put away your electronic devices bc that light is blinding and stop bringing older folk that dont speak English bc I dont want to hear you translating the damn movie. Also when waiting in line for the movie feel free to save a spot for a friend like we all do but dont you dare fucken hit up your FB and have a fleet on mini vans show up. I go from being 10th 12th in line to 50th! Fuck you!

Hispanic People: My people are probably the worst. You guys need to leave your kids at home. Just bc your kids are ruining your youth doesnt mean they have to ruin mine. Unless its a kid movie DO NOT BRING THEM! This isnt day care. Youre not funny so stop yelling comments out during the film.

Teenagers: All of the above. Just stop. I have no issue cock blocking you and embarrassing you in front of all your stupid friends.

If your theatre has assigned seating please sit in your assigned seat. Stop being assholes.

Now dont start with the "What so what am I suppose to do w my kids aye. Shiiit what I cant go out homes? The hyna wants to see a movie ese." nonsense. You can go out but get a babysitter or go to kid friendly places. Dont interrupt me at the movies after I blew $30 just to get in.

Dont give me the "Bro just got to the ArchLight. Thats place doesnt sell kid priced tickets! No kids bro! Bro Bro Bro Bro!" nonsense either white people. The archlight is more exp than any theatre and bc its full of snobby "Im so filmsy and hipster and from out of state but live in the Westside or Hollywood adjacent (Koreatown) lets meet at starbucks so I can type the next big script bc I know a guy" type of people they talk through out the whole fucken movie bc they think they are critics. At least I talk shit AFTER the movie gets out and on a blog youre not paying to see as others interrupt you.

"Bro but you can always do the 21+ shows."...Whoever invented that concept should be hit with a blunt axe again and again and again bc thats the dumbest fucken thing ever. Lets pay more money to see a movie with a bunch of assholes who are drinking. Yep that always goes well.

Please follow the above guidelines. Id like to know what you guys think and what you'd like to add to the list.

Thats all for now. More movies this week and all summer really. Prometheus this weekend! w00t!

-Albert

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